memoirs of small boy

recently..alot of memories kept flasing back in my mind.i still remember clearly the first day i saw rambo.i came home around 2am after yumcha session with friends and i saw rambo in the kitchen.daddy block the kitchen way using a cardboard but rambo kept escaping from the cardboard and ran to me.he is the first puppy i saw and touch in my whole life.he was three months old that time.he was very cute and very timid.very small and light as well.our story begin from that moment on.everyday i will babysit him.feed him and play with him because i just finish my spm and havent start work yet.i guess that really helps in tighten the bond between me and him.i still remember his first bark was to a white teddy bear aunty gave to him.at first he was very afraid of the teddy bear but soon enough he was already raping the bear with all sorts of position.he even bite the bear up to his little sofa daddy gave to him to sit.then his legs got stronger and he started to have a new hobby which is jumping around.we started to give him all sort of nickname from small boy to monkey boy to kangaroo boy.he will answer to all anyway.i always hug him to sleep on my bed until he was big enough to stay outside the house.but yet i'm his top favourite person?what a funny boy.one year later daddy bought lucky home and they dont really like each other.though lucky is cute but yet i still prefer rambo because to me rambo is more obedient than lucky.time really flies when i saw rambo with all the drips in his tiny hand last monday..i know he's old.i know he cant jump anymore,cant play with me anymore.nicole and bro kept telling me that i have to let him go but i was in deep depression.i started to talk to myself.lying to myself that he'll be fine the day after but deep down i know he will never be fine.i know he'll be leaving me.the truth is i cant accept the fact that he's leaving.i cant accept the fact that i cant touch him,cant play with him anymore.i'm sure he's happy now no matter where he is because he know i loves him alot though he's gone and i'm sure i will never be able to get another dog soon because i cant endure the pain at all..the pain of losing something so important in my life.

hard to let go

reached singapore at 2300 last night.gave a call to daddy and bro.cant stop my tears from rolling down when i talk to daddy.losing small boy is not an easy thing and i never had this feeling before.when first rambo passed away i only cried for one hour but small boy made me cried so many days.i started to cry since the day i saw him in the clinic.though i know i should let him go because he's very suffering yet it's not an easy thing to do.but am sure small boy is enjoying his new life with jack jack,1st rambo,chao chao,suprise,junior and ber ber.small boy i really wanna let you know that even though you're not here with me anymore but you're remain in my heart forever and no other dogs can ever replace you in my heart.love you alwiz.

R.I.P

daddy woke me up at 10 am earlier and told me the vet called him and said that rambo is in very bad condition.he might not survive till tonight so we went there to see him.his condition is much more worst than last night and it really breaks my heart to see him this way.my tears kept rolling down as i see him struggling his way.daddy couldn't help and cried as well.bro rush all the way from usj to segar to just see rambo.seeing him suffering,we decided to let him go though it's very hard to.guess that he will feel much more better once we let him go.dad stay all the way beside him to send him off.bro drag me out of the room because he know i can never accept the fact that he's gone.losing small boy made me so afraid that i dont even want to keep any dogs anymore.though small boy is gone but i'm sure he know that he'll remain in my heart forever because i really love him so...in fact we all loves him...R.I.P my small boy..may God loves you always.promise me that you'll be a good boy up there ok?

let go

daddy touched down kl at 2200 earlier.he called bro and asked bro how's rambo.seems like we really have to let him go this time.though i love him alot but i guess God loves him even more.what nicole and bro said was right.he had suffer enough and no point letting him suffer even more.perhaps he will feel better once we let him go.at least he wont have to endure all the pain that he's enduring now anymore.no matter what happen tomorrow,i just want rambo to know that i really love him and he'll remain forever in my heart because he's the one and my only small boy.nobody can ever take over his place in my heart.

my sweet small boy

you guys must be wondering who is small boy?small boy is my dog and his name is rambo.bro took rambo to see doc on sat and he was diagnosed with kidney and live failure.i was so worried that i took the latest flight back to kl on sun night after work.i went to see rambo earlier and his whole body had turned yellowish due to his kidney problem.it breaks my heart to see him in this kind of situation.his breathing was hard and doc said he having breathing prob because of the drips.seeing all those pipe in his tiny hand really made my heart sank.he was very weak to even stand up but he struggle to stand on his feet when he see me leaving.i guess he must've longing to go home with me.he must have misses home dearly.doc said it's better to put him to sleep but the final decision can only be made once daddy is back.though i know letting him go is the only way because he's really suffering but i really cant..i can presuade myself to let him..i just cant...seeing his tiny body fighting with all his strength really breaks my heart.i beg God please heal him...please dont take my small boy away from me...please...

home sweet home

touched down kl at 8.25am earlier.was too excited the whole night so din really get any sleep at all.till now am still in bro's house.havent went back dad's house yet.js bath big mac n bubu.i dun think bubu is pregnant because her stomach still look de same to me.big mac is still very naughty like before so it's nice seeing them because really miss them alot.bro and nicole is sleeping now so i need to wait them to wake up to fetch me back to dad's house =(

november ...

hmm...1st of de month again which means new target new motivation but then i'm on holiday mode d wo.though it's only 3 days but it's de feelings tat count right?back still aching as usual and headache becoming worst.i think i really need to take a full body checkup test once i reach kl because i dowan to end up in danger.keke...

happy~

sarah found something interesting bout the blog page and ask me to have a look and i'm very relieved after reading the comment from a fren to the blogger.it felt so nice because he actually said everything that we wanted to tell the blogger but in a very nice n polite manner.i guess that's why she stop blogging now.now that should teach her a lesson to respect every human's privacy. *thumbs up*